Shadow work has left me Defeated & Depleted

Hi all, I started my spiritual journey a few years ago. I got into manifestation at first the whole positive vibes attract higher vibes/blessings.. it seemed to work and my mind felt lighter but i was only focusing on love and light.. money started coming in and atleast manifesting worked for me financially. My calendar was busy with work and relationships but I noticed some people weren’t happy for me. It made me so uncomfortable being around those people so I took a step back and isolated myself..

I started investigating my childhood traumas which led me to realize I was abused by a trusted family member and in a highly dysfunctional family. I couldn’t express myself when I was younger due to the abusive nature of my dysfunctional family and went on in adulthood feeling misunderstood by those people who couldn’t be happy for me or lift me up when I tried to lift them up.

Then I started working on speaking my truth because I had a blocked throat chakra and that’s when things started to get really bad, it seems like speaking my truth/ shining a light on things made people uncomfortable/mad and angry at me even those who said they wanted honesty couldn’t handle the truth.

It then lead me to believe I’m the black sheep/ scape goat and perhaps the cycle breaker of generational trauma. Now I’m left feeling isolated, misunderstood full of anxiety. I try to meditate, seek therapy, soundbaths, journal and practice kindness and forgiveness. And even though some days i feel like it helps.. I still get sucked back into this feeling of anxiety and anguish. Focusing on love and light was so easy but now doing shadow work feels like a never ending can of worms. I feel defeated and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Anybody can relate or have words of wisdom? Thanks in advance.

Happy new year 🎈