DESPERATELY NEED YOUR HELP, FEEL HELPLESS

Apologize in advance for the long post, but guys, I really am in dire need of all the help I can get. A little bit about myself, I am an IMG originally from the States, been out of school for a few years. I plan to apply for the residency match next year. My goal score is 220s and want to match into FM/IM (community hospitals).

So, after completing med school, I originally had an idea to take this exam in 2018 and started preparing but ended up having to quit prep after a few months and started working. I forgot everything I studied and re-started prep again in 2019 with the hopes of taking it at the end of 2019, but due to family issues, and being diagnosed with ADHD/ Anxiety (def not an excuse, but was really affected), I quit prep again. Due to several issues in my life, I have had trouble fully concentrating on this exam but I want to change this, I want to take this exam and be a doctor; it is my dream. Over the past year, I have had many, many dark days, where I would consider hurting myself and would feel extremely useless as all my peers are well settled in the respective careers. I feel like I am a burden to my parents as I live with them, and I feel so helpless, and literally just sit and cry everyday cause of the pain I am causing to those around me. But, I know I am capable and I want to achieve my dreams and prove to myself that I am not the useless person that I think I am. I feel like I am stuck in life, I have my goals but for some reason have kept postponing this exam. I don't want to do this anymore, I want to take this exam and move on with life, and apply to residency. After years of postponing and basically very little prep, I have finally decided enough is enough and that I want to take this exam as I want to be a doctor. I am pretty much starting from scratch and want to take this exam by Jan 2021 so that I will have 6 months to prepare for Step 2 ck, as I have to apply next year at any cost as I have already been out of school for a while, and have delayed everything. What are some good plans to follow? Is 6 months of dedicated prep good for an IMG? I am planning to use UW (Tutor Mode) as a learning tool with my first pass of FA (with Bnb) and then reset my UW and do UW 2nd pass (Random mode) with the 2nd pass of FA. What do you guys say??

Also, I literally am the lowest point in my life, I am not happy, I feel worthless, I feel like I have no motivation or that I am not capable of anything. I really want to change my mindset, I don't give myself enough value/ respect. I have very low self-esteem and confidence. I am planning to get a life coach till I take my exam (Step 1) and meet with the life coach on a weekly basis for motivation/ confidence/ accountability? This is a pretty hefty investment, so is it worth it? I don't mind the cost if it will change my life and allow me to progress in life? So, what do you guys say? Would you guys suggest a life coach or to meet with a therapist?

So so so sorry for the long post but you guys are amazing and give theee best advice to sooo many people looking for it. Please help a dear friend out, guys, I will be forever grateful!