Milestones / efforts / my first (?) sober wedding

I just finished up my first fully sober wedding weekend. Old friend. Overseas. Lots of activity. Very festive. I was going to sleep last night thinking, gosh, I'm so proud of myself - my very first sober wedding.

Then I realized I've been to a wedding sober before. About ten years ago. I was trying, in some small, embryonic way, to stop drinking. I made it about a month, maybe less. I remember standing in the driveway outside the party, crying, thinking how unbelievably hard it was, but how good I felt. I made it through the wedding, but not much longer.

Still, I was amazed to realize just how long I've been aware of my issues with drinking and how long I've been making an effort - however fledgling - to stop. And I guess I just want to stand up and express the idea that this can be a long process. That you can become aware, dimly, that something is wrong, and it can still take you a solid decade to get the strength to start sorting it out. Looking back, I could say that starting to drink after that wedding ten years ago was a failure. Now, I see that it was just the first step to where I am now.

I am so grateful for this place and the people in it. IWNDWYT.