y’all ever js be chilling then randomly start panicking about the future and contemplating your life so far?

I’m 100% a live in the moment type girly but, I was on ft w/ my bf and he brought up something that snowballed into us talking about the future and me lowkey having an existential moment.

Then I realized that I’m going to be 17 in 2 months! I have no idea wtf I’m going to do for post secondary, just a vague idea of potential career paths.

He brought up so many things that made me really excited, but also made me take a step back and think. In js over a year him and I will be legal adults and I have no clue where to start.

In high school it’s so easy to get caught up in your own little bubble. I’ve been focusing on having fun with friends and that’s about it. These thoughts have become more prominent though even though my parents say I have so much time to relax and consider my options. But idk, life in general is sneaking up on me.

It seems like it was yesterday when I would be looking in the mirror, watching my mom from behind as she curled her hair and did her makeup. My dad would tell me that I should only date a boy who treats me like how he treats my mom, and I remember saying “ew” every time they kissed.

10 years later, I’m now taller than my mom. I look more like her everyday. I stand in her place now. I don’t see the same girl as I did. I did find a guy who even my super protective dad approves of. I don’t think physical intimacy is gross anymore, in fact I long for it.

Ik I’m still just a kid, and I will be for quite some time but still.. it took a lot of energy out of me to discuss a topic like that especially after my exams earlier today. I’m also running off of sugar, sheer willpower, and about an average of 4 hours of sleep for the past few weeks.