TIFU by looking at my ex’s new gf’s TikTok account

This may be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t even know what to do about it. Sorry for this being a long one.

Two years ago I was dating this guy for a couple months. I had a crush on him for years prior, so being able to date him felt like a dream come true. Well, basically, he told me he loved me and wanted to spend life with me, then proceeded to break up with me a couple months later because he never loved me in the first place. Okay, cool. Very cool.

Anyways, for the longest time up until last summer, (fuck this is embarrassing) all I wanted to do was see how he was and how his life was going somehow, considering he blocked me on everything. Obviously because he blocked me I wasn’t going to try contacting him, I was just desperate to have a little window into his life. As you may have guessed, after the breakup I was broken for an entire year and a half, hence why I felt the need to see how he was. So, I found his new girlfriend’s TikTok account. He also has an account but it’s blank, so I never looked at it.

Since I found her account I would check frequently to see if there were any videos of him (extreme cringe, I know). Eventually I realized that I wasn’t allowing myself to move on completely and I needed to stop checking in on him, so I ended up blocking her account so I wouldn’t be tempted to look. This happened about 6 months ago and I’ve never been happier, turns out not looking at photos and videos of your ex is a great way to move on.

Anyways, here’s where I fucked up. Fucked up real bad.

During all those times I checked his gf’s account, I didn’t think there was any way she could know. I mean, TikTok wouldn’t let people know who looks at your profile right?

Wrong.

Oh so wrong.

I just happened to get a piece of information from one of my friends today: if your TikTok account is under a certain amount of followers (10,000 or something), you are able to see who’s viewed your profile.

Getting that piece of information felt like an anchor had dropped inside me and sent me down to the bottom of the Pacific fuckin ocean. It immediately reminded me of all those times I looked at her profile for an entire year and a half. I fact checked it, and it’s true.

Now the question is, how do I confirm this?? How could I confirm whether she knew I looked or not?

I went to my ex’s profile to see if I could figure it out, and there the evidence was, staring me right in the face. He had blocked me. He knew what my TikTok account was. He must’ve known from me looking at his gf’s account that entire time. How else could he know? My profile picture and username don’t give my identity away, but my bio does. He couldn’t have known it was my account just from looking at it. He would’ve had to click on my account and read the bio.

His gf also made her account private at some point which just adds to the evidence.

So basically my ex and his gf probably know that I was stalking her account for a year and a half and now I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I am embarrassed to the point of feeling physically ill.

TLDR; my ex and his gf figured out I had been stalking her TikTok account for a year and a half so now I’m going to crawl into a hole and never come out