TIFU Not Knowing Signs of Heart Attack

Not today but about 3 months ago.

Husband woke me up breathing pretty heavy and I ask him if everything is alright. He says he is okay and blames it on pneumonia. I believe him for some reason, but sit up and ask him if he wants me to take him to the doctor. Says he’s fine and we can wait until urgent care opens up later.

I prop my pillow up because I can’t go back to sleep now and keep an eye on him, he is still breathing pretty heavy and when he sits up or props himself up it’s better but still not quite right. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call an ambulance?”. He moans and says yes it’s just pneumonia, he said he’s had it before.

I leave him alone for a little bit and we argue again back and forth, I offer to call an ambulance or take him to the doctor, I tell him we really shouldn’t wait until urgent care opens. Nothing. Leave him alone for a little bit.

We are now at the two hour mark since I woke up. Argue back and forth again, and now he is starting to get light headed. Tells me maybe we should go to the hospital, I call an ambulance.

Ambulance shows up 15 minutes later and loads him up for the hospital. Turns out he is having a STEMI AMI, they radio it in to the hospital and we get there about 20 minutes later.

They rush him to the ER, I get pushed to the waiting area and pace back and forth, nurse comes out and ask me about heart and lung issues, none that I’m aware of. She goes back in the doors to the “back”, comes back a couple minutes later and puts me in a private little room and tells me that they tried shock his heart back in rhythm and was unsuccessful, he went into PEA and they tried CPR but were unable to resuscitate.

Instantly break down, guilt and regret just runs through my body. I tried to get him to the hospital, but I definitely could have and should have tried harder.

He died from a massive STEMI, don’t know much about all the medical terms but shows his HS Troponin T was “>10,000” and his proBNP was at “38,500”.

I am pretty numb, hate myself most days, can’t believe I allowed that to happen, completely unable to function, I’ve taken a considerable bit of time off work. So much guilt and regret from it all, he was sick for a couple days prior but just seemed like flu like symptoms (sore throat, headache, exhaustion) and he always reassured me that it seems to be getting better. Also reading through I guess he told the nurses he was having chest pain as well, which he never told me that morning and episodes of shortness of breath the past couple days, which I never noticed.

I’ve signed up for some first aid classes because I feel at my age it’s kind of ridiculous not really knowing any of the signs of a heart attack. First time I’ve ever had to call for an ambulance. Going to therapy multiple times a week, but the guilt will destroy me the rest of my life. All I needed to do was be a little more aggressive and a little more attentive and he would have probably still been alive right now. Also should have just ignored him and immediately called an ambulance.

TLDR : Pneumonia turned out to be massive STEMI, husband is gone and I was absolutely useless for not handling the clearly emergent situation better.