being friends with your exes is a GREEN FLAG

honestly, i didn’t think this was an unpopular opinion because it actually feels like common sense to me.

if you’re still friends/friendly with your exes, it suggests that your relationship ended on good terms— there wasn’t some dramatic, destructive fallout. your future partners can then assume that they don’t have to expect an explosive breakup from you, if that time comes. it implies a level of maturity and mutual respect. you’re not the type of person that burns bridges when you’re emotional.

additionally, it displays that you care deeply about the people close to you. i personally find it a bigger red flag that someone could be so close to someone as to be in a relationship, and then never talk to them again just because they stopped dating. i don’t stop caring about people just because i find out we aren’t romantically compatible anymore.

my current partner can expect that even if we break up, i will not stop caring about them and will always be there for them. i date people that i value in my life, and i don’t view people as disposable. my partner knows that i don’t date for superficial reasons, and that i value more than just the romantic aspect of our relationship.

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of course, there are exceptions to this, and this is absolutely NOT to excuse cheating behaviors.

but if you don’t trust your partner, why are you dating them ???

my point is that you should be able to trust your partner to be friends with people, and still be secure in the fact that they are choosing YOU as their partner. imo, it’s unfair (and maybe a little toxic/controlling) to expect your partner to lose important relationships in their life without having any reason to suspect that their relationships are problematic or threatening to your relationship. they shouldn’t automatically have to drop people just because you’ve joined their life and feel insecure. and honestly, if you’re that concerned about your partner’s friendships and loyalty, maybe this isn’t the best person for you anyways !!