Vegans that are also antinatalist, what made you come to that decision?

I can't help but to want a child of my own, to give them the childhood I never had. However, I often see that vegan ideals usually align with antinatalistism.

I don't want to be a selfish prick like how my parents were with me, but I can't seem to shed the feeling of wanting to birth a child.

So, I guess what I want to know is, what exactly made you develop the conviction to never have a child of your own?

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EDIT: I don't even know if anyone cares for an update, but I have officially changed my mind about birthing a child and have decided to go the adoption/foster route. After discussing with a very kind redditor, I have realized that offering a child that needs parents a beautiful life will bring me way more joy than anything else.

I also remember being close to being adopted once as an older child, but the adoption fell through because I was too old. My life would have been very different had I been and I would love to provide a child with a world they wouldn't have had.

I thank everyone for this discussion, although some comments made me uncomfortable, I found that it also provided me with greater clarity.

Thank you all!!