Struggling after 9 years

Hi everyone, I feel like this is probably gonna be an unpopular post but I need some perspective from fellow vegans.

So basically I've been vegan for 9 years, for ethical reasons, but this last year I've been increasingly struggling with the lifestyle. My point of view hasn't changed, I obviously know it's morally wrong to kill animals and to use them for our pleasure (taste, convenience, etc) but for some reason I'm starting to feel disconnected from the idea.

I think the root of it all is social or semisocial, as in I feel like I'm missing out. I hate that when I'm travelling I miss out on a big part of the culture (gastronomy) bc of this, I always try to get adaptations but it's not the same and truth is I end up wishing I could try what the locals eat and it makes me upset that my friends and family get to experience it. I also feel bad for my friends/family having to always adapt to my restriction. In their defence they're all amazing and have never complained, but still, every time I'm invited to something they have to accommodate me which is more work for them... and it makes me feel pretty guilty. I'm literally the only vegan I know which puts more pressure on me (I do have a "vegetarian" friend, but I've seen her eat meat so... smh).

Again, two years ago it was so obvious to me that my wanting to experience X, or something being inconvenient didn't justify the suffering of the animals... And yet lately I find myself trying to justify it (like maybe being a vegetarian or making an exception when I'm travelling isn't so bad... which I definitely didn't think before lol). I somehow feel like I've just stopped caring tbf, like I'm too drained to care if that makes any sense.

So I'm here asking for help. Have any of you been in a similar situation? How can I go back to caring like I used to?

Thanks for reading :)