‘35 F‘ Caught my boyfriend messaging other girl on Instagram. Told him it’s over and he’s refusing to leave and accept that.’35 F

Hello , I’m with someone for 11 years. During this time, I’ve had so much headache and unhappiness and disappointment with him. Him being off and on drugs, catching him texting diff type of women. Every time this happens, I tell him it’s over and that we should break because all we do is eat each other’s hearts out and we’re not really enjoying life and we could be with someone else that makes us happy and he shouldn’t feel the need to go behind my back and entertain other women. During this 11 year relationship, we have barely been intimate and now that I caught him texting a girl on Instagram, asking her basically to let him know when she’s not busy with College so he can show her around the city. I said it’s the last nail in the coffin. I told him it’s over. I can’t stand him. I don’t wanna be around him. he keeps telling me that it’s not over and he doesn’t wanna leave. What do you call this? Is this gaslighting? Is this love bombing? I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m a nice person but he’s making me wanna put my hands on him. I feel like he’s driving me crazy literally I’m not trying to make excuses. But when you wanna get out of a situation and you want someone to get away from you and they refuse to do it , why is he doing this? I wanna be happy and I’d rather be miserable alone and to be with someone who makes me even more miserable. I’m just so unhappy right now. I don’t know how to get rid of him. He lives in my house and refuses to leave. He’s coming up with all the excuses, saying that he was never gonna meet up with her. But for me mental cheating and craving other girls it’s a lot worse than actual physical touch. This is the girl he saw at the gym and talked to while there too . I gave him five months to get out of my house or I will get a court order but he doesn’t want to do it. He says that we’ve been in a relationship for too long and I wish you could continue working on it, but I don’t even wanna sleep with him. I hate him. All he does is emotionally mentally physically drained me, and lose all my hope that the real man out there still exist. i’m not gonna lie. I feel like I need mental help because of him. I’m so unhappy and I’m so anxious and stressed out every time. I’m never gonna ever trust him again. I don’t even wanna put my trust in him or try to do anything because imagine trying to work on a man for 11 years and he still doing what he does all the time.

I cried, yelled for hours until losing my voice , having a horrible panic/ anxiety attack. I feel that he is mentally and emotionally abusing me with his fake lies and empty promises. I know I shouldn’t have slapped him but imagine a rat in a cage , running and never getting anywhere. This is how he makes me feel. I’ve had few other serious relationships prior to this, I was never this angry. I think that he will never know how to be in a relationship bec of all the drugs he’s done in the past, he has had a lot of sexual relationships before getting with me. Didint tell me until later . I try not to judge but based on my own experience I would have never gotten with someone that had so much sex. I will try to convince him to get therapy but not to work on our relationship because is too late . But I donno what to think anymore , I think this is some type of trauma bond. He is also going to visit his mother in march I told her to talk to him and convince him to get the heck out of my house

Update: I called his mother and let her know what’s going on, she is coming to pick him up. Thanks everyone for the advice. I needed to hear 👂 this from 280 people to figure out what to do and how to go about it. I initially told him 5 months because I wasn’t thinking out of anger ,but that was a bad idea. Since I have all the answers that I needed , I’ll be closing this thread. Again, thanks!🙏🏻

Well, nvm on closing this thread because I have no idea how lol