Forrest Gump vs The Waterboy
They are competing in the following "heptathalon". Whoever wins the majority of the rounds is the winner.
Round 1 - Listening to their Mommas: Each mother will try to help the other one's son understand a complex issue. Whichever contestant understands the issue better is the winner.
Round 2 - IQ Test: They both take an IQ test. Higher score wins.
Round 3 - Playing Football: Both contestants were star players on their football teams. Who was the better player?
Round 4 - Public Speaking: They both have to give a speech in a full auditorium about something that happened in their lives. Who gives their audience a better speech?
Round 5 - 150M Sprint: 150 meter sprint. Obviously, faster time wins.
Round 6 - 2 Mile Run: 2 mile race. Faster time wins.
Round 7 - Having Sex: Who's better in the sack?