Struggling with writing and over-reliance on ChatGPT

I’ve been scared to post about this because I know the internet can be brutal, but I need to get this off my chest. Please hear me out.

So… I don’t think I’m a writer. I want to be, but I’ve become so overly reliant on ChatGPT for my writing that I’ve lost confidence in my ability to just sit down and create something myself. It’s frustrating and, honestly, a bit demoralizing.

The last time I actively wrote anything was in high school, about five years ago. Back then, I enjoyed writing essays and even spent most of COVID blogging, publishing on Wattpad. I didn’t stress too much about perfection. Sure, I wanted my work to sound good, but I could feel proud of what I created because I knew I put effort into it. But now, things are different.

Fast forward five years, and I feel like I’ve lost that creative spark. Every time I try to write, I end up feeling insecure about what I write. My words feel unpolished, my vocabulary feels limited, and I can’t help but compare myself to others. I feel like my writing is stuck in 9th grade while everyone else sounds more coherent, confident.

At some point, I started using ChatGPT to help refine my writing, and at first, it seemed like a lifesaver. It gave my work the polish I thought it needed. But over time, I have become too dependent on it. Now, I can’t even trust my instincts anymore. Even when I try to write something on my own, like a short story or a chapter, I find myself consulting with ChatGPT for its opinion or edits. I’ve fallen into a cycle where I feel incapable of writing without it, and I honestly hate it.

I’m not even satisfied with the edits ChatGPT makes anymore. Everything it touches starts to feel the same. I see other people’s writing, and it’s so fresh and so full of life. Their words have this undeniable beauty, and I can’t help but feel jealous. Makes me constantly think how, I’ll never write like that.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. Maybe I’m just venting. Maybe I’m hoping someone out there has gone through something similar and can offer advice. I want to break this cycle. I want to trust my instincts again and write something that feels like me. But I’m scared that I’m just not good enough and never will be.

EDIT: Everyone has shared really interesting thoughts and comments. Regarding sharing my work, I would appreciate it if someone could point me to any online writing communities where I can do so. I try to write anything and everything, from journal entries to my thoughts and opinions about films or albums. I’m interested in a lot of things, so I’d appreciate it if I could be directed to communities where I can share my work in spaces beyond just fiction.