A witch and her servant lived in the woods. When townspeople wandered near, the witch cast spells on them. She becupped, beplated, and beforked the townspeople, transforming them into dinnerware. "I wish I had something to carry all these wares," said the witch. "Please, no," said the servant...

Why 10 + 10 = 11 + 11?

Non-critical notifications popping up after latest update.

My son saw a gay ghost in his bedroom last night

An open letter to the mods and members of Dadjokes:

What do you call a turtle with two legs?

Do you think Hawaii allows loud laughing?

Sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee.

We cannot allow this year to end

Pasta-making machine

The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?”

Reddit should rename “share” to “spreddit”; “delete” to “shreddit”; and “karma” to “creddit”. Yet they haven’t. I don’t geddit.

Reddit should rename “share” to “spreddit”; “delete” to “shreddit”; and “karma” to “creddit”. Yet they haven’t. I don’t geddit.

The Lie Detector Test

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals.

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

I was once kidnapped by mimes.

I was having a quiet drink at the bar last night when a clearly distressed man bursted in the door pointing a .44 Magnum. He proceeds to shout “Which one of you fucked my wife?!” No one answered. So I took it upon myself to tell him.

“Studies show that 1 person is dying every 30 seconds from COVID-19 in the U.S.A...”

To the person that stole my office 365 subscription,

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii

Friend: why do you call your horse Mayo? It’s not even a white horse.

What has two butts and kills people?

My wife is mad at me for having a bad sense of direction.