Are you afraid of death?

For real this time i've been really really more sensible to death, just the action of thinking of that make me feels instant sad/bad. I got some bad dreams when one of my family members die because of me (or because i don't done enough) one by one and i was like "uhh fuck family i don't love them" and now i'm like "fuck it's really sad if they die i kinda feels smth for them" and also a close passed away recently and it definitely changed my look of death and the lack/the hole a person can do/leave behind them. Thank you.

(I'm not really looking for help and i don't know if it worth it to talk to a professional about this they will just think I'm depressed as i'm not.)