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Madison Howard
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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamper is into boxing. He had a bout last night and got pulverized. Poor critter has swelling on his knuckles and both cheeks. He has no health insurance so I will have to pay the freight for the doc. What should I do?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamsamich can do 40 pushups, 40 sit ups, and 10 pull ups in just under 5 minutes. Is that a good time for this regimen?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer is officially classified as a fugitive now. He successfully flew the coop at 0300 today. Should we shoot to kill or try to take him alive?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer is now a swinger. What is the downside?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammy’s cousin just arrived from out of town. The two are inseparable. Is there a downside?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamper is an entrepreneur and works round the clock. How can I get him to diversify?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

Last week my hammie was six inches long & weighed 150 grams. This is how he now looks. Is this shrinkage?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

I have ridden my hamsamwich so much and for so long that he has a swayback. It’s too awkward to ride him anymore. Should I just put him out to pasture or have him rendered?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

I just bought a dozen hamgolf balls. I broke eighty for the first time ever. Great trampoline effect. Can anyone else drive their hammie 300 yards?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamplay is addicted to assembling jigsaw puzzles. I think I will frame him. Yes/No?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My Hampton eats platefuls of spaghetti and has gained weight and developed high blood pressure. How do I limit his intake?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammie is constantly embarrassing me when I take him along in public. He always flirts with pretty girls and when they become enamored he leaves me alone to carry the ball. I can’t think of enough stuff to say to sustain their interest. Any suggestions?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

I took my hammer on a trip and at the airport he met up with some Jehovah’s Witnesses. That’s fine but now he is forever reading the Bible and preaching and praying. Should I do something or just overlook this new behavior?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My ham&cheese got hold of my credit card and ran up a huge debt. I’m torn between turning her in for fraud and theft or administering my own brand of justice. Any suggestions, guys!

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer has the worst hygiene imaginable. Can I get some advice on how to get him to shower, shave, and brush his teeth?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

There is talk that the Conclave has been invaded by imposters…..

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For anything truly interesting as fuck

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamper will eat nothing but mini corn-on-the-cob. Her droppings are literally little corn kernels. Should I be alarmed?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

I’m concerned about my hammock. I think he may be transitioning. Should I be worried or just let nature run its course?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamper won the lottery and she’s become a real spendthrift. She’s is arrogant too. I think that she thinks she is better than me.

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer loves shelled peanuts and now has found a new mentor…

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My ham&cheese built a still and drinks moonshine directly from the spout all day long. The dizzy lush.

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hamhock loves grilled cheese sandwiches and will eat nothing else. Is this a balanced diet or should I force feed veggies?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer has what the hamchiatrist called the lincoln complex. Has anyone else experienced this malady in theirs?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammer is becoming a chicken. He is bullied by bigger hammers at school and now refuses to sleep without protection. Is this normal?

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)

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Fluffy-Friend-4248

My hammock is an exceptional fencer. But he has little cuts all over his front.

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Daily reminder to keep your hamsters (and all other animal species) in a small cage so they don't get overwhelmed by the size! Don't forget all animals deserve a cage mate :)