Wife: "I can't believe you went to a prostitute to have sex."

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

A 65 year old couple are sitting in their home

A teen boy is buying a pack of condoms for the first time…

A man who owned a sausage factory was showing his arrogant asshole son around his factory.

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”

A Redneck bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical Redneck baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard.

Something happened whilst I was waiting in line at the bank today.

Guy goes into a brothel...

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.

Wife: What the actual fuck!? I thought you were fixing the fucking sink!

A Genie grants one wish…

Joke I heard a few weeks ago but couldn't find on reddit, At the end of the tax year, an IRS officer was sent to check the books of a local hospital.

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile, and I’m so angry about her lies.

Whenever Little Johnny's parents wanted some "alone time", they would send him out to the front porch with a bowl of ice cream.

A man was mending his roof, when suddenly an elderly messy man showed up on his lawn, yelling to him "Sir, would you get down please".

Moscow, on a bitterly cold winter morning. There is a long line of people waiting in front of a bakery.

A Best Man at a wedding notices that the groom is incredibly happy. “I know that you are happy for your wedding day, but you seem incredibly ecstatic. Why?”

At an international meeting of Brewing Companies three CEO's decided to share a drink before leaving.

Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blond woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs.

[ Removed by Reddit ]

Why are married women heavier than single women?

The prostitute put on her clothes and said…